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Sage Seth - The Green-And-White Guru
Sage Seth And The Joke Football Club
Jon Seal has been rooting around his attic and looking in his old programmes again for more words of wit and wisdom from Sage Seth - the green-and-white guru.... Jon writes:

Many may be surprised at the departure of Dave Webb, some will be worried at the imminent departure of Belgrave, Skiverton and Crittenden ( donít rule out Patmore - fits Webbís game perfectly ). How many of us will be musing, "Just when it was beginning to look good." In moments like this (and there have been plenty of them ), it is always helpful to reflect on the green-and-white guruís words :

On the publication of The Elect Yeovil To The Football League Brochure 1972-73:
I was impressed. It was a glossy leaflet with many pages and lots of pictures. People from the football world as famous as Bertie Mee had written how suitable they thought Yeovil would be for the league. I stuffed the booklet in the inside pocket of my parka and proudly proclaimed that we might be watching the likes of Hartlepool United next season. Seth nearly choked on his Opal Fruit and burst out laughing.

"Ha ha ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha. This club in the league ! Never have any hope that this club will do anything. Itís a joke club, remember that son. A joke club. Green and white shirts ? It should be green and white hats with bells on. You could be watching this club for many years - whatever you do never get your hopes up. Chairmen will come and promise you league football, managers will come and tell you itís the best little club in the universe and they love you all to death. But donít believe it. Donít get hopeful. Remember itís a joke club. Remember our place and youíll be alright, youíll survive."

On Rugbyís third goal in the F.A. Trophy first round Saturday 2nd December 1972 :
I remarked mournfully that I wished Iíd never come.
"Now thatís a rum thought. Does a tree make a noise if it falls down in the middle of a forest when thereís not a soul to hear it ?" asked the green-and-white guru.
"Eh?" I replied.
"Think about it lad ! Are all the actions of the world related ? Is the future predetermined or is destiny a blank page in an unwritten programme."
I still looked blank.
"Alright, alright," the Sage smiled patiently. "You see you effect the result of the match. Weíre one nil up, they get a corner, you yell at their winger as he runs up to boot the ball, it puts him off his stride and the ball swings away harmlessly into touch. The crap corner is down to you. Agreed ?"
I nodded.
"Now imagine a parallel universe. You didnít yell. You didnít put him off, the corner was perfect, it landed on the head of their ugly no.9 and glanced into the net. Goal. In this universe your lack of presence at the match effected the goal. Agreed?"
I nodded.
"How do you not know that every action you take doesnít in some way effect the game. You breathe, therefore depriving their no.9 of a particle of oxygen, the reduced energy means that he canít jump that extra hundredth of an inch to reach the ball. The glancing header that leads to the goal never happened. Your very presence at the game has effected the result. Ergo. If you hadnít come, it could have been a different game.
"You see, son, youíre caught up in a web of fate. Your destiny is irreversibly tied up with the Glovers. Ultimately, all your actions effect them and all their actions past and present effect your destiny. Butterfly wings causing tidal waves and all that."

On Yeovil's second goal against Wimbledon, F.A. Trophy 3rd Round Replay, Wednesday 3rd march 1971:
"Steady on, son. A team is never more dangerous than when they're two nil down."

More of the thoughts of Sage Seth - the Green and White Guru will be revealed as the season progresses.

The Sage Seth Archives are here.

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